Radio interviewer:   I’m backstage at the Birmingham Hippodrome with the comedian Brian Conley.  Hello Brian.  Nice to see you again.

Brian:         Nice to see you too.

Radio interviewer:   Birmingham’s done well for you over the years, hasn’t it?
Brain:         It certainly has.  It’s paid my mortgage, definitely.  I mean, it’s not far from where I live, it’s just up the motorway, and I love this theatre.  I’ve got some great memories of here.  Back in the 90s, especially, when I was doing panto with Britt Eckland, that was a really good time. 

Radio interviewer:   You mention panto, which has, of course an element of audience participation and rowdiness.  How do you cope with that?  Is it something that’s difficult for you?

Brian:         It is difficult, especially with the kids, you never know what they’re going to come up with.  But I’m up for that.  Some theatres don’t like the kids to come up on stage any more, they just finish with a musical number and that’s it, but I think that’s a shame, especially now I’ve got kids of my own.  What a lot of theatres do now is get the parents to come down and stand in the aisles, and if there’s a rowdy kid, we bring the parent up, and that puts the onus on the parent to keep the kid in check.  But I like all that participation.  It’s what gives it energy and makes it live.

Radio interviewer:   You do a range of different shows though, don’t you?

Brian:         Yes, I do musical theatre and corporate work as well as panto, but panto’s the best.  It plays to my strengths, you know.  I like the fact that it’s got everything, singing, dancing, comedy, and if there’s something in the papers that day, I can pick up on it and put it in the show.  And that’s something that only I can do, as the comedy character.  The other characters in the show can’t diverge from the script so much.  But I can ad lib.  It’s great.  When I work in musical theatre, i can’t do that.  I have to stick to the script.

Radio Interviewer:   So where did it all begin, this comedy career?  When was your first time on stage?

Brian:         The first time I was on stage was when I was two.  I was at this holiday camp and my mum and dad lost me in the dance hall.  Then they heard loads of people laughing and they saw me up on stage making a fool of myself.  That was it after that.  I was hooked.  But what has also driven me is the fact that I was dyslexic.  I found it difficult to keep up at school, because my writing was bad, so I naturally became the class clown, the school joker.  But I was always a good singer, and singing was always my first love.  Comedy came later.  When I started doing clubs when I was 17, I found that you get paid more for doing comedy than you do for singing.

Radio Interviewer:   And you still do comedy now.

Brian:         Yeah, I do.  Most of the comedy I do now is actually corporate work.  You know, these big work events, where there’s free food and drink.  It’s very lucrative, but it’s a tough crowd.  They’ve got a load of free alcohol and they get boozed up.  There’s a big demand for it these days, but a lot of famous comedians can’t do it.  I’ve learnt how to handle it over the years, and I’ve got an answer for every situation now.  I had to fall into it really, it pays the mortgage. 

Radio Interviewer:   And you still get nerves?

Brian:         A guy once said to me that it doesn’t get any easier.  I dismissed that.  I used to reckon that as I got older and more experienced I’d be more relaxed and I wouldn’t get so nervous.  But I realise that he was right.  I want to do well, and that effects how you feel before the performance.
Radio Interviewer:   Brain Conley, thank you very much.